Did your handset recently emit an alarming sound out of nowhere?
If so, well done.
You have now received official notification from the authorities that burning things is not permitted.
Some might contend that avoiding dangerous blazes is sensible guidance most of us follow regardless, yet Britain has experienced numerous destructive wildfires during the recent hot, dry conditions.
Should you have missed the notification, I cannot offer any explanation.
It appears you were not chosen to be among those protected when disaster strikes.
Never mind. I shall think of you.
Millions of devices activated with that jarring, unmistakable emergency tone.
The kind of sound that instantly makes you wonder whether conflict has escalated, rockets are incoming and you must decide how to occupy your final moments.
As it turned out, it was an urgent directive concerning outdoor cooking.
Steve Allen was subjected to interruption by the Government (Image: Steve Allen)
There exists that joke about meetings that could have been handled through correspondence, and indeed, this national security notification could have functioned similarly.
I happened to be performing at the time and numerous individuals failed to receive their 7pm alert when they should have.
The noise continued sounding throughout the night.
I had never previously been interrupted by the Government but I suspect I ought to become accustomed to this.
Given that this occurred shortly after some individuals required hospital treatment having stared directly at the sun during an eclipse, it comes as no surprise that certain responses to the national warning proved rather foolish.
Individuals began contacting emergency services to report that their neighbours were operating grills.
The intention behind the system is that the sound grabs attention due to its intensity.
Yet there exists a difference between attention-grabbing and the effect of having woken every canine in the nation along with numerous anxious individuals.
The challenge with emergency notifications is that they must maintain believability.
Should the alarm trigger whenever authorities believe we might be marginally excessive with our sausages, the public will cease regarding it as genuinely urgent.
Since receiving that message, numerous individuals have indicated they intend to disable the function.
Congratulations.
That memo concerning barbecues now means fewer people will take notice of a potential extraterrestrial invasion warning should circumstances require it.
While I offer criticism, I must acknowledge that since receiving that alert, I have not initiated any wildfires whatsoever.
So perhaps it proved effective.
Steve Allen works as a comedian, broadcaster and writer; for additional content from Steve, tune in to his programme Steve N Allen Almost Daily.